Practical Ideas for Navigating the Confusing World of Smartphones
This week we pool your insights from last week's post into actionable advice for improving your child's relationship with tech and smartphones.
In last weeks post we started to explore our relationship with smartphones and touched on the emotive subject of giving phones to our children. In the comments, on Notes and on LinkedIn, the discussion was brilliant.
So it makes sense to bring all the thoughts from you into a consolidated post where we can start to learn from each other.
This is one of our first real collaborative posts I guess. Enjoy.
Before we go on….
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So firstly, thank you to every who engaged with the post and added so many informative comments. Your comments turn these newsletter posts into a real community. So thank you again.
Here is last weeks post in case you missed it:
I haven’t added names against the comments but I have added them verbatim so that you can get a better flavour of what they were saying. I’ve then summarised and added my own take to each area.
Factors to Consider
"Complex question this one with no specific answer in my experience... It's less about the specific age and more about individual maturity and the peer group they are in."
Early Exposure to Technology: Some children are introduced to devices such as tablets as early as age 3. This early exposure can be beneficial in controlled environments. However, the unrestricted access that a smartphone offers is different and poses unique challenges. Balancing the benefits of tech-savviness with potential pitfalls is crucial.
Peer Group Influence: Our children's peer groups play a significant role. While it's essential to prevent feelings of exclusion, succumbing to peer pressure too early can lead to unforeseen challenges. It's about striking the right balance.
Children Learn From Us: From the day they were born, children have been taking their que from how we behave. Our relationship to technology rubs off on them. So treat your phone how you would like them to treat it.
Setting Ground Rules
"My eldest now 18 got a smartphone at 15, but again monitored and had to leave it with us after 9pm."
Nightly Restrictions: Establishing a tech curfew can mitigate the disruptions to sleep and ensure quality family time. This practice also helps to establish healthy boundaries.
Parental Controls and Monitoring: As our community member pointed out, tech-savvy kids might bypass software. Hence, fostering an environment of trust and open conversation is more effective than strict controls.
Empowering Through Education
"Teaching them that any images or comments posted could potentially be viewed by a parent or teacher at a later date is really important."
Our Digital Footprint is lasting: Teaching our kids the concept of the 'digital footprint' and the permanence of online actions is vital. Building awareness of potential consequences, both positive and negative, will promote responsible online behaviour.
School Policies on Smartphone Usage
"I think phones should be banned from schools entirely - especially smartphones."
"They still have access to the knowledge base but not through a smartphone with all the other shite that goes with it."
Schools play a critical role in shaping tech etiquette. While some advocate for a complete ban, others believe in leveraging technology for education. The key is to differentiate between a tool and a distraction. And appreciating that a tool can become a distraction in the wrong setting!
Alternatives to Smartphones
"My kids have our old cell phones but it's more like using it as a tablet... They also have to have permission to use it and be able to explain what they want to do."
Repurposing devices can provide a middle ground. It introduces them to technology without plunging them into the world of always-on connectivity. It's a controlled initiation.
However, older devices may not have the parental controls of newer ones so watch out for that. You may think you’ve given them something that’s old and pretty useless but they are clever little things and will find ways of accessing what they are looking for.
Tools for Managing Smartphone Usage
"Opal is another example of an app that completely blocks access to some apps... Together with OneSec, it really makes it easy to realise when boredom and habit are leading to thoughtless scrolling!"
Mindfulness is the watchword of our era. Tools like Opal and OneSec instil this by making users more aware of their consumption patterns. They act as reflective mirrors, showing us our tech habits.
Conclusion
"Great post Martin! Thanks for putting this important post out there."
Our community's insights underscore the myriad factors influencing the decision of when and how to introduce smartphones to our children. Every child, every family, and every situation is unique. It's essential to make decisions rooted in awareness, understanding, and individual circumstances.
Please let me know what you think of this post. It’s a bit of an experiment but there was so many great comments that a consolidated post that brings them together feels of value.
This is certainly a subject I will be returning to over the coming months and years as we move through children’s teenage years!
Wish us luck and let’s learn together.
If you think the ideas shared here would resonate with someone you know please feel free to hit share. I’d also love to know your thoughts on whether this post was useful in the comments below.
What do you think?
Top 3 articles of the week
Finding great articles on Substack can be difficult. Fear not, I have been digging deep into the discovery areas of the platform so you don’t have to.
Here are my top three posts to read this week:
I hate to break the news, but... adults and teens? We're kind of the same. by
ofHow to limit screen time to 90 minutes a day (Intermittent Digital Fasting) by
ofEw, You Mean I Need To Start Working Again? by
ofAnd from that article comes this brilliant paragraph:
Years ago, a friend asked me if I sit around and do nothing. Back then, the answer was Absolutely not! “You mean, you don’t just stare at the ceiling fan sometimes?” No. Until I did–starting on July 25. For weeks, I was bored. And then I felt a spark, a thought download, a pang of joy, and then more and more. When kids are bored, parents let them be bored. Suddenly, the kids start making up games or storytelling aloud. Boredom generates creativity. In this transition, I vow to be bored some more. To listen for the new perspectives within me and to hear the critical missions shine through. I promise to stare at the ceiling fan–every day.
Now, go and start at the ceiling fan for half an hour! I challenge you not to think of something creative in that time.
One from the archive:
Never Stop Learning Recommendations
A big part of this newsletter is the community we are building. One of the ways we do this is through recommendations and building links between Substacks that share our values. Never Stop Learning recommends these Substacks that I suggest you check out.
If you enjoyed this post please hit Like below.
It really helps bring these posts in front of new people and helps this community grow
This consolidated post is a fantastic idea, and reflecting on the insightful comments is a wonderful attempt to summarize the many diverse perspectives on this important topic. Hope to see more such discussions in the future.
Thanks for the shoutout and recommendation, Martin! It is always a pleasure interacting with you on Notes!