How An Average Starbucks Coffee Transformed My Mindset
If we look for them, our daily lives offer us ways to get us out of that rut we're in.
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How An Average Starbucks Coffee Transformed My Mindset
It’s always an awkward moment when the Starbucks barista asks for your name.
Maybe about ten years ago this was seen as innovative but now it just feels a little weird. A dated gimmick to make you feel like a massive corporate behemoth actually cares about you.
But you do need to give a name or they won’t hand over your coffee. So, what name do you give?
I went through years of just giving my name. I know, how boring is that?! Why would you give your own name? They aren’t going to check. Derek. Maybe that will do? Or maybe go for something that keeps them guessing. D. I’m D. Ooooo, I wonder what this mysterious person called D is actually called - I’m sure the barista isn’t thinking!
Or you could go for the classic. Mickey Mouse. Yeah, that’s original. That will make them laugh. Unlikely.
We need to go more extreme with this.
I’ve spent my whole life thinking they will know when I’m not giving them my real name. Of course, they will guess! I’m obviously not a Dave. I’m a Martin. That’s my name!
"Can I get a name for the coffee?"
“Say Dave, say Dave,” my midlife crisis mind tells me.
“Yeah, um, well, yeah. Urm, Dave. My name is Dave,” I stammer. The barista looks up at me, thinking, "How can this guy stumble over his own name?" It’s sad when people get old, I can feel her thinking.
I wait there on the side, adrenaline building in my stomach. They’re going to say Dave and my name isn’t even Dave. How crazy is this!
“Coffee for Dave!”
I look around. I’m the only one there. The barista gives me another weird look.
“Oh yes, sorry, I’m Dave,” I say, looking sheepish but somehow pumped with adrenaline.
I did it. I only went and did it! What an absolute legend I am!
The mind starts to wander from this position of absolute victory. I fooled her. I fooled the world. I can be whatever I want to be now.
This is obviously a silly situation because no one really cared apart from me
Something shifted in me that day in Starbucks. It wasn’t the realisation that Starbucks coffee absolutely stinks. It was a realisation that I could start to shift the narrative in my own head. I could start to move away from the person who I had conformed to over all these years—a person who had grown but started to get stuck in a groove that had become a rut.
I could break out and become something different. It would just take some guts to move away from that rut and try new things.
We give ourselves labels which can constrain us
There’s a point in most people's lives when they look in the mirror and give themselves a label: mother, father, economist, baker, writer. We can begin to pigeonhole ourselves to the point where we can’t break away from the person we’ve accidentally created.
The realisation can come in small ways, and the earlier you realise it, the better because you can do something about it.
The starting point is to always be open to new experiences
Life moves faster as we get older. Because we have fallen into the trap of experiencing the same thing again and again, our brain stops recording the memories in the same way. Take your last holiday. Great memories stored away for you to enjoy later. You can pin that time in your life to that holiday but if you go back the following year and the year after that, your brain starts to get lazy. It starts to merge all these memories together into one folder named “holiday in England.” The problem with this is we lose the ability to anchor that memory in time, and it starts to feel as though time is moving faster because of it.
There’s a double benefit to keeping an open mind to new experiences and the need to seek them out. You will start to grow as a person, and you’ll start to build new memories that give you time back in your life story. You’ll also give your brain new nodes to make connections with, which will fuel your next adventure.
Maybe next time I will give the name of some of my favorite Substackers.
“Name, please?”
“
”Try it. It’s fun. Who knows, you might end up shifting your mindset.
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Thank you for reading and see you next week!
Ironic in that I did the same thing at our local Starbucks in San Miguel de Allende. Instead of using my gringo first name, I used my middle name and added an O. Roberto, I said to the barista. Why? Maybe I wanted to sound more local? Identify with the language and the culture? I am a Norte Americano and there's no hiding that. Regardless, I am also a resident of Mexico as it's our only home . Ex-pat is now part of my identity. Another label among some others that include long life learner, resident rebel, traveler, curious, a reader, writer and walker. husband, father, grandfather and the list goes on and on. Enough for now!
"I could start to move away from the person who I had conformed to over all these years." I love the way you put it. One of the biggest things I have realised as I grow up is that my opinions, my dreams, my choices- all these things can change with time and that's absolutely okay. I don't "have" to be a certain type of person to find contentment, I just have to be me. Even though who I am will be different some years down the line!