The Dos and Don'ts of Work Drinks for Senior Managers
As you become more senior the more you will become aware of the social pitfalls of "work drinks". Here is my take on how to survive as a senior leader.
In Never Stop Learning this week I will be covering the following 1-2-3:
One Big Thing - Navigating work drinks as a senior manager
Two Recommendations - Tips on moving from Manager to Director and how to get ahead from the eyes of Anna Sorokin in
Three Actions to take this week
One Big Thing - The Dos and Don'ts of “Work Drinks” for Senior Managers
Now that many of us are back in the office post COVID we are increasingly being invited to that phenomena that hasn’t really happened for the last three years.
Work Drinks!
Some of you will have been promoted over this period and will be embarking on this social enterprise with a slightly new hat on. Expectations of you may have changed.
Here is my guide to navigating this world as a more senior manager.
It’s not quite as easy as you think.
Dos
1. Buy a round of drinks early in the night (ideally when you all arrive)
Look, I know it sucks but you are probably one of the best paid, if not the best paid person, in that social gathering. It shouldn’t happen this way but there is an underlying expectation that you buy a round early on.
They’re your team after all and its a nice thing to do to say thank you for all their hard work.
For me, it takes away some of my anxiety early on in the night and (see my point later about not over staying your welcome) it allows you to leave at any time without having to worry about being in “debt” to anyone.
Whatever you do, don’t let the intern buy the first round!
2. Engage in conversations with the team
Be inclusive and engage in conversations with all members of the team. It’s a chance for you to get to know them beyond work, which can create stronger team bonds.
This is your chance to find out a little bit more about them but remember to give too. They will be looking to you to show a human side and get to know you and what you’re interested in.
It’s a chance to connect.
3. It’s a chance to show some gratitude
Obviously don’t go over the top. It’s a social even after all, but this is an opportunity to say a well done to someone for a particular piece of work that they nailed that week.
Be careful though. Congratulating one person and then forgetting that one of the other team members also contributed can backfire!
4. Moderate your drinking
Although its after work hours, you’re still on duty. Know where your limits are.
To be honest, I tend to limit my drinks to two pints maximum these days. I’ve never really been a big drinker but I did have a boss in the past who would have had about seven pints of beer before 8 o’clock.
It quite often got messy from that point onwards.
Not a good look!
Don’ts
1. Don't discuss sensitive topics
The pub is no place to raise performance issues with a member of your team however tempting it is.
I had a senior manager who did exactly this. It was on the day I had just found out I’d been promoted. I was overjoyed and looking forward to having a few drinks to celebrate.
However, this senior manager did not agree with my line manager’s view and made it very clear in the pub that I should not have been promoted.
Wow, that is a day that will live with me for a long time!
It was so painful to hear that from another leader and left me reeling for much of the weekend.
2. Don’t gossip
This builds on the above point and should be pretty obvious. However, its so easy to slip into gossip mode and let off steam about an colleague.
You simply don’t do this.
Firstly, everyone who is present will wonder what you say about them when they’re not present.
Second, it looks like you’re not joined up with the other senior leaders. Gossip spreads fast and will easily lead back to you resulting in a painful conversation in the early part of the following week!
Don’t say anything about anyone you wouldn’t say to their face!
3. Don’t show favouritism
People pick up on who you’re talking to. If you spend all night talking to John from accounts or Jane from Commercial and fail to mingle with the group it will start to antagonise other team members.
Try and mingle amongst the team a little.
To be honest, there will probably be team members that will want to use the drinks to relax and you talking to them for a long time, as a senior manager, may prevent them from doing so.
4. Don’t overstay your welcome
Now of course you don’t gossip but it may be the case that the team want to let their hair down a little and have a little gossip or talk candidly about management.
Hanging around simple to prevent this is not a good look. It’s important for the team to let off steam.
So pick a time to leave. Probably two hours max is about right to ensure they don’t tire of you.
In conclusion
It’s important to note that if you’ve recently taken a step up in grade that this will affect how you are seen at the work drinks. You can still enjoy them but just remember that there will be more eyes on you than there were before.
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Two Recommendations - what to consume this week
1. How to Go from Manager to Director - Land an Executive Level Position
2. Anna Sorokin's 10-step Guide to Manipulating Rich People - Homo Imaginari
This is brilliant. A tongue in cheek view of what it takes to get ahead through the eyes of Anna Sorokin. Probably something we can all learn from her!
Three Actions To Take This Week
My vision for this newsletter is to provide you with weekly actions that you can take away and use in your life in the coming week. So, here are three things you could try this week:
Go for a 20 mins power walk each day for a week.
Write for ten mins in a journal.
Delete one subscription that you really don’t need any more.
And… to get the latest post each week please don’t forget to hit subscribe
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gossiping about toxic clients? Known to build morale with top folks, but more controversial in front of newbs...I never could draw the line right...I work for myself now...:)