Sometimes We Have To Let Go

We need to accept that we cant solve every problem. It's a big universe with a lot of problems.

Apr 28, 2024

"Hi Everyone, Ever wondered what would happen if we just focused on what we can control and stopped worrying so much? What happens when we actually let go of things? Check out this post that explores a vital lesson I learned as a 14 year old in the Chemistry Lab! Enjoy!"

- Martin Prior

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On the table next to me the test tube started to roll.

I caught it out of the corner of my eye. The slightest of movement grabbed my attention and immediately I could see it was going to roll off and smash on the floor.

Instinct kicked in. I lunged to grab it before disaster could strike.

I was 14 years old.

In a busy science class on a nondescript Wednesday afternoon we were doing the usual prescriptive tests using various chemical concoctions. The usual kids were larking about at the back.

I was diligently doing my work.

I was one of those kids you would might call a nerd these days. I was good at my work in a school that wasn’t particularly renowned for its academic prowess. I’d liked to think of myself as a big fish in a small pond but you’d probably be more accurate with the term “shy nerd” or something like that.

The archetypal nerd probably isn’t that good at sport but I loved sport. Especially throwing and catching.

I felt confident I could catch that test tube as it fell from the table.

That’s the only way it could be done really. By the time I got there it would have already left the table and be falling quickly to the ground. Reach out the hand and grab it from thin air.

Hero.

I felt the test tube on my fingers as I reached out but almost immediately after that….a smash.

And then silence.

The noise of the test tube smashing on the ground brought the whole class to attention.

And then the blame hit me like a wall. Everyone turned and pointed the finger at me. This was pain in the instant but it taught me something about myself that I’ve needed to be aware of ever since.

My instinct is to step in and seek to sort out a situation.

In a way, it’s a good instinct and one that has served me well in life and work. But I’ve sought to temper it slightly to avoid more dropped test tubes. So, here’s what I’ve learned over the years.

1. Stop and think before committing to something

I’ve found that slowing down my thinking just a touch can help me judge things better in the moment. Trying to grab the test tube was probably the right thing to do but it was high risk (to my 14 year old self’s mental health that is!) with very small upside (it was just a test tube!).

2. Learn to zone out to some of the outside noise

It’s easy to be diverted. Especially in todays world of noise. I know I have a tendency to try and solve every problem I come across. A blessing and a curse for those around me. I’ve written before about avoiding the news as I know it hurts my mental health. I’m doing ok but could do better.

3. Be aware of my circle of influence

The thing is I know I cant affect everything in the world but that doesn’t stop my mind trying to solve problems. The Middle East peace process, the Ukraine War and the political situation in the US.

These are all on my list to solve.

As you can see, these are outside my circle of influence. Solving some of the problems in my team at work – more solvable.

4. Be aware of my circle of concern

Then there are the things that I could solve but are just simply not my concern. This is a greyer area. Why wouldn’t you try and solve something you could actually solve?

For some things, you can get involved but if there’s already someone attending to it it’s ok to step back. You don’t have the capacity to address every problem and you shouldn’t spread yourselves so thin that you don’t actually solve anything.

After all, the universe has a lot of problems. You cant solve them all.

Two Recommendations - what to consume this week

1. Taoism - The Power of Letting Go

Sometimes we just need a mindset shift. Here’s a good place to start.

2. The Diary of A CEO interviews Jimmy Carr

Jimmy car is the original Marmite comedian but he’s also a big thinker. In this latest interview he covers topics including cancel culture, men’s mental health and how we should be encouraging our kids to take more risks.

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